i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
