He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
