The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
