she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
