yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
