gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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