porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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