You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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