So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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