I can tuck mytits in my pants
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
