She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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