there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
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