Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
