I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
