So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
