Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
