There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
