In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
