the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
