i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I could make wine with my vomit
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
