I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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