my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
