Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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