i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
