Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
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I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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