Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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