she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
