sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Text me some of your sweat
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
