And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
