That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
