Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
