Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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