Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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