My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
