So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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