found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
