actually, I'm a sock model
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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