I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
birth control should be required to get into college
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
