i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
