Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
