Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Dick very happy bro
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
