Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
