Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
