I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
