You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
