I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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