I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize