I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i dont even know how to be here
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
