I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
