guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
