Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
