You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
