Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude i'm inner monologue high
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
