I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
