I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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