Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
