that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
