im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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