So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
