is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
