Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
