Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
