Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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