but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic