Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.