You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence