do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016