omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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